I made an error in judgement.
I went with my roommate to be a spectator to her play session. I was asked to play too, and I did not say no. I also did not contact my protector/mentor to ask permission. I felt guilty the whole way home, and contacted her immediately when I got home.
Now I am being punished and rightfully so.
I feel incredibly sorrowful that I have disappointed Mistress. I am completely remorseful , but can not contact her for a week to even express how terrible I feel. I have a week to think about my actions. But guaranteed the way I feel today will be compounded by the end of the week.
She is incredibly generous to not cut me loose for being so disobedient. Especially when she is nothing but good to me. I will not make this mistake again.. that is for sure.
I am still working on my homework for the sub-mentoring program .
I truly am trying to become a better person- better submissive.
Right now I just feel like I let everyone down.
I need to be better at setting harder limits.. of saying NO and meaning NO.
But for now .. this is how things are .
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Today
You are beautiful! Your body is just the shell that holds all that beauty!
I am making this my truth!
I am making this my truth!
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Assignment 1: You Make the Call
Read the situations below and then you make the call. Which circle
would you place these people in? Post this assignment back to the
e-group.
1. You find yourself in community conflict. You are under attack by a
difficult person in the community. Rumors and half truths are being
spread about you. Your efforts to employ conflict resolutions have
failed. Which circle does this person belong in?
Answer- Depending on how much contact you have to have with this person. If you are having to work on projects with them, Then I would say Circle 3 . But if not they belong in the outer circle, they are toxic and it is not wise to put them closer than that.
2. You find yourself getting closer to your Mentor and you find you
have more and more in common. Which circle does your mentor belong in?
Answer- 2nd circle- However they could very easily be first circle. As Mistress Karen is to me . I do not consider her a mentor or protector only but family. I KNOW that she has my back and she has my 100 percent trust. I think it depends on how close the relationship is and where your trust level is.
3. You have been seeing a Dominant for a while and it is becoming
obvious that you are not compatible and cannot see a life partnership.
Which circle does the Dominant belong in?
Answer- Third Circle.
4. You have been seeing a Dominant for a while and it is becoming
obvious that you are not compatible and cannot see a life partnership.
You share your feelings with the Dominant and an argument ensues.
Skewed details spill over into the community. What action do you take?
Which circle will this person move to?
Answer- Outer Circle. if unsuccessful with conflict resolution. A whole bucket of drama one does not need.
5. Your long time partner has had a disagreement. Which circle does
your mate belong in?
Answer- Inner Circle - A disagreement does not stop a relationship. It is a speed bump. All disagreements are not deal breakers.. they are a difference of opinion.
Assignment 2: Is completed.
Assignment 3: Strengths: Choose something you've done that made you
feel successful. List your strengths and write next to the ones that
helped you with this and how.
Does completing this homework assignment count. This was really hard for me .. emotional barriers all over the place.
I am kidding.
Planning a party, for someone. I sent out invites... personal notes. The party had a high attendance, This used my Woo , Positivity , communication, Connectedness- All of these are needed for anything social that you plan. It was successful thus I felt successful.
I am not sure this is what you are looking for but it is the closest in time frame I can think of.
Tip: *You may not have use all of your 5 strengths – and that's ok!
I have been struggling .. with my homework assignment for the Mentorship program. Emotionally it is hard. Deciphering where people belong in the circles of my life. I am truly a submissive girl and I have let people into my inner circle who do NOT belong there. I have let people re-enter my life that left it .. and allowed them right back into my inner circle. Only to have my heart battered time and time again. Toxic people who devastate me . Yet I have this thing where I want to give people the benefit of the doubt. Even relatives.. that are poisonous to my emotional health. I have had to take a hard look at where I allow these people in my life. What I have found is I really don't have anyone in my inner circle. THAT In and of itself.. was the hardest conclusion I had to come to.
Read the situations below and then you make the call. Which circle
would you place these people in? Post this assignment back to the
e-group.
1. You find yourself in community conflict. You are under attack by a
difficult person in the community. Rumors and half truths are being
spread about you. Your efforts to employ conflict resolutions have
failed. Which circle does this person belong in?
Answer- Depending on how much contact you have to have with this person. If you are having to work on projects with them, Then I would say Circle 3 . But if not they belong in the outer circle, they are toxic and it is not wise to put them closer than that.
2. You find yourself getting closer to your Mentor and you find you
have more and more in common. Which circle does your mentor belong in?
Answer- 2nd circle- However they could very easily be first circle. As Mistress Karen is to me . I do not consider her a mentor or protector only but family. I KNOW that she has my back and she has my 100 percent trust. I think it depends on how close the relationship is and where your trust level is.
3. You have been seeing a Dominant for a while and it is becoming
obvious that you are not compatible and cannot see a life partnership.
Which circle does the Dominant belong in?
Answer- Third Circle.
4. You have been seeing a Dominant for a while and it is becoming
obvious that you are not compatible and cannot see a life partnership.
You share your feelings with the Dominant and an argument ensues.
Skewed details spill over into the community. What action do you take?
Which circle will this person move to?
Answer- Outer Circle. if unsuccessful with conflict resolution. A whole bucket of drama one does not need.
5. Your long time partner has had a disagreement. Which circle does
your mate belong in?
Answer- Inner Circle - A disagreement does not stop a relationship. It is a speed bump. All disagreements are not deal breakers.. they are a difference of opinion.
Assignment 2: Is completed.
Assignment 3: Strengths: Choose something you've done that made you
feel successful. List your strengths and write next to the ones that
helped you with this and how.
Does completing this homework assignment count. This was really hard for me .. emotional barriers all over the place.
I am kidding.
Planning a party, for someone. I sent out invites... personal notes. The party had a high attendance, This used my Woo , Positivity , communication, Connectedness- All of these are needed for anything social that you plan. It was successful thus I felt successful.
I am not sure this is what you are looking for but it is the closest in time frame I can think of.
Tip: *You may not have use all of your 5 strengths – and that's ok!
I have been struggling .. with my homework assignment for the Mentorship program. Emotionally it is hard. Deciphering where people belong in the circles of my life. I am truly a submissive girl and I have let people into my inner circle who do NOT belong there. I have let people re-enter my life that left it .. and allowed them right back into my inner circle. Only to have my heart battered time and time again. Toxic people who devastate me . Yet I have this thing where I want to give people the benefit of the doubt. Even relatives.. that are poisonous to my emotional health. I have had to take a hard look at where I allow these people in my life. What I have found is I really don't have anyone in my inner circle. THAT In and of itself.. was the hardest conclusion I had to come to.
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