I have been crazy busy with my sub-mentoring program . The homework is very hard and requires alot of studying and reflection.
I am curious as to why some Dom's on fet still bypass my mentor /protector. I think it is personally disrespectful of her and honestly... how can someone expect to be respected if they are not respectful ... especially of protocols.
Me? I am tired.
I have been working really hard on the homework of Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Yeah that is a light and easy homework assignment . I have only finished 3 of the 10 essays and already my brain feels like swiss cheese.
I am desiring my elusive Dom .. oh where are you.. I think I am becoming increasingly impatient.
Funny how I just want to find someone who won't make me cry emotionally...
the physical stuff I can take ... it is the emotional terrorism that leaves me cold.
I am reading emotionally unavailable...
I think I will make my new mantra .. "I didn't break it... I don't have to fix it"
That makes me laugh because the submissive in me goes into overdrive trying to consistently fix the broken and make it perfect.
When I myself am so far from it.
They say that ... the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results... well according to Einstein anyway. ... So I guess drag me off the crazy train? right? Working on the circles of my relationships trying to see who belongs in my life and who doesn't... there are a lot of people who don't deserve to be in my inner circle. Yet I keep them there because of my emotional attachment not theirs. Well that will have to end today . I have cried my last tear for someone who shouldn't matter making ME feel worthless. When in reality ... am pretty awesome! Well .. you know .. that is what everyone that matters thinks ;)
Friday, March 18, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Part 2: Personal Reflection: After you have completed this assignment email us
your thoughts on this process. Was it helpful to you? If so, how was it helpful?
Wow! On the reading assignment... This really hit home with me. Especially this
statement "Choosing the wrong people can downgrade our value system and the
quality of your life. Friends and associates do not have to be perfect or an
exact cookie cutter of you and your values. However, they should be close to how
you envision your life to be and can be a support system for you. This support
system should be mutual. You both strengthen each other."
When I started this assignment I felt this nagging feeling of I "can't" take
this person out of this circle , I will hurt their feelings if I do... But I
reread the assignment and found that as I wrote names down and began to move
them from either one circle to the other that I actually had a sense of peace
-as my negative and "blackhole" people moved from my inner circle to the outer
circles of my life.
So as a whole this assignment was incredibly helpful. I realized that letting
people fill my life with their toxic behavior does not better me as a person, in
fact it really weights me down and keeps me from being the person that I am
intended to be.
Part 3: Your Strengths Summary
Woo
Positivity
Empathy
Communication
Connectedness
I know that I tend to have an extroverted personality when in public, I think
that, it is because I have such a genuine passion for people and learning about
them... getting to know who, they are and the things that they like , that make
them feel good about themselves.With this being the case I am always looking to
make deposits into their emotional banks, Because of my strengths and the type
of job I have, that it works very well for me , because I can use my positivity
and really woo people who are having a genuinely bad day and turn it around. I
know that I am a people person and I get a lot of energy from being around all
types of people, I have been in grocery stores or just out and about and
strangers will come up and start telling me their life stories. I have wondered
if this is because I look like a therapist or that people can see feel that I
have a natural empathy and I can feel for them and communicate with them on a
level that they feel cared for,and not judged in anyway. I am certain that ALL
things have a purpose in our lives... whether it is good or bad , and I don't
think that there are any accidents, that everything happens for a reason.
Perhaps this is part of my connectedness I am not sure .. but I believe that
people that are put in my path for any amount of time that there is a reason
that they are there , and I try to treat that as a special gift.
your thoughts on this process. Was it helpful to you? If so, how was it helpful?
Wow! On the reading assignment... This really hit home with me. Especially this
statement "Choosing the wrong people can downgrade our value system and the
quality of your life. Friends and associates do not have to be perfect or an
exact cookie cutter of you and your values. However, they should be close to how
you envision your life to be and can be a support system for you. This support
system should be mutual. You both strengthen each other."
When I started this assignment I felt this nagging feeling of I "can't" take
this person out of this circle , I will hurt their feelings if I do... But I
reread the assignment and found that as I wrote names down and began to move
them from either one circle to the other that I actually had a sense of peace
-as my negative and "blackhole" people moved from my inner circle to the outer
circles of my life.
So as a whole this assignment was incredibly helpful. I realized that letting
people fill my life with their toxic behavior does not better me as a person, in
fact it really weights me down and keeps me from being the person that I am
intended to be.
Part 3: Your Strengths Summary
Woo
Positivity
Empathy
Communication
Connectedness
I know that I tend to have an extroverted personality when in public, I think
that, it is because I have such a genuine passion for people and learning about
them... getting to know who, they are and the things that they like , that make
them feel good about themselves.With this being the case I am always looking to
make deposits into their emotional banks, Because of my strengths and the type
of job I have, that it works very well for me , because I can use my positivity
and really woo people who are having a genuinely bad day and turn it around. I
know that I am a people person and I get a lot of energy from being around all
types of people, I have been in grocery stores or just out and about and
strangers will come up and start telling me their life stories. I have wondered
if this is because I look like a therapist or that people can see feel that I
have a natural empathy and I can feel for them and communicate with them on a
level that they feel cared for,and not judged in anyway. I am certain that ALL
things have a purpose in our lives... whether it is good or bad , and I don't
think that there are any accidents, that everything happens for a reason.
Perhaps this is part of my connectedness I am not sure .. but I believe that
people that are put in my path for any amount of time that there is a reason
that they are there , and I try to treat that as a special gift.
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