Have not written in a bit

I have been crazy busy with my sub-mentoring program . The homework is very hard and requires alot of studying and reflection. 
I am curious as to why some Dom's on fet still bypass my mentor /protector. I think it is personally disrespectful of her and honestly... how can someone expect to be respected if they are not respectful ... especially of protocols. 
Me? I am tired. 
I have been working really hard on the homework of Sexually Transmitted Diseases.  Yeah that is a light and easy homework assignment . I have only finished 3 of the 10 essays and already my brain feels like swiss cheese. 
I am desiring my elusive Dom .. oh where are you.. I think I am becoming increasingly impatient. 
Funny how I just want to find someone who won't make me cry emotionally... 
the physical stuff I can take ... it is the emotional terrorism that leaves me cold.
I am reading emotionally unavailable... 
I think I will make my new mantra .. "I didn't break it... I don't have to fix it" 
That makes me laugh because the submissive in me goes into overdrive trying to consistently fix the broken and make it perfect. 
When I myself am so far from it. 
They say that ... the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results... well according to Einstein anyway. ... So I guess drag me off the crazy train? right?  Working on the circles of my relationships trying to see who belongs in my life and who doesn't... there are a lot of people who don't deserve to be in my inner circle. Yet I keep them there because of my emotional attachment not theirs.  Well that will have to end today . I have cried my last tear for someone who shouldn't matter making ME feel worthless.  When in reality ... am pretty awesome!  Well .. you know .. that is what everyone that matters thinks ;)